Indian Casino. Watching in Fast Forward.

Once or twice a year I do three day shoots at an area Tribal Casino. A big, luxurious tribal casino, doing basic audio (they only want the yells of excitement and clapping- nothing else) and gripping. Gripping is a young man's sport. My best gripping days are long past but I know the job.

The casino is now a well known adversary. It is a morally corrupt, surreal carnival of harlotry populated by really nice people, who look and act like my parents (if they were chain smokers and heavy drinkers.) My old testament attitude about casinos kept me off these jobs for several years, but 2009 was a rough year so I stopped avoiding the siren's call. I used to say that I would not do casinos, republicans or porn. I now have done two of the three. High morals are great. Paychecks are great too.

The spots are really simple. Beautiful young people dress up and play slots and table games, having loud and boisterous fun. Nobody in the casino has fun like these beautiful people, in fact the old, chain smoking people do their level best not to crack so much as a smile while they play their solitary slots. The beautiful, large breasted, high heeled models have so damn much fun it hurts to watch. They are constantly adjusting their strapless evening gowns in the most lascivious ways imaginable. Their chiseled, handsome menfolk also high five with a certain intensity saved for professional sports playoffs. Very few of the actual casino patrons watch us shoot which always surprises me, production always being a draw for passing crowds- they are too busy and wrapped up in losing this month's rent or social security check. I watched a woman with Parkinsons lose $200 on the $5 machine in ten minutes- it didn't seem to faze her. Frequently it starts to feel like a neon retirement home with cocktail waitresses.

It is also painfully obvious that the last rung of celebrity in this world is having your name or likeness used on a video slot machine: Elvira: Mistress of the Night, The Village People, Dean Martin and strangely "Star Wars" all had their own electronic theft devices sucking up disposable income from senior citizens.

Pictured, is me doing what a college graduate can do best: creating a "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea" water effect on the fake rocks of the pool while hiding behind deck chairs where the beautiful people cavort. I have a weird job.

Kitty Glitter: Says it all folks....