"the William Neff Memorial Grotto"

It's hard to know what to say about some one who inspired you, encouraged you (but never flattered you)when you never quite delivered the career or body of work they felt you could have achieved.  Good-Bye? Thanks? I wish I could have dedicated that imaginary oscar to you Bill? Bill Neff was one of my Film and TV professors at Montana State.  Of my big three Cinema teachers (the others being Jack Stonell and Salah Sayed- Ahmed) I was probably closest to Bill, who was my advisor and more importantly  the script writing professor. Bill had a standing friday afternoon drinking club at Stromboli's in Bozeman. It was F.A.T. Club  (Friday Afternoon Talk).  Those were some of the best memories I have of college, maybe of life. I made great friends at MSU and those teachers will always occupy my thoughts.  Jack was the straight man (though, he probably thought himself otherwise)- All-American and filled with nostalgic patriotism but also a pretty stand up guy and dad figure. Salah was the hero, the cinematography professor from Cairo, who worked with legendary directors and wooed starlets in the 40's and 50's. But Bill was the NYC realist and feisty little guy who would poke his finger in your chest and tell you "you can do better than this. You got something here and you should do something with it." His film classes opened my mind and my heart. His film appreciation course introduced me to many films that I now love and define me. Bill's office in the then new Visual Communications Building was on the ground floor and faced out to some fairly drab landscaping. One night we all went on a scavenger hunt for lawn ornaments and decorated outside his window- gnomes, flamingoes ,various knick knacks showed up. We called it "the William Neff Memorial Grotto" He thought it was hilarious. He got the janitor to illegally open our lockers so he could stuff all the gnomes and flamingos inside. He also made us take them all back to their owners.

My friend Kent reminded me that he saw Bill cry at the dedication at the end of "Raging Bull" - A dedication to his own cinema teacher at NYU:


"So, for the second time, [the Pharisees]
summoned the man who had been blind and said:
'Speak the truth before God. We know this fellow is a sinner.'
'Whether or not he is a sinner, I do not know,'
the man replied. 'All I know is this:
once I was blind and now I can see.'"

John IX. 24-26
the New English Bible

Remembering Haig P. Manoogian, teacher.
May 23, 1916 - May 26, 1980"
It's our turn now to remember those who helped make us who we are.

Like everything it seems today, Bill is gone. He died March 18th at the age of 90. Jack and Salah are gone too.

I miss you Bill even though it has been 10 years since I last saw you. I miss you like I miss my own youth. When the future still looked open and possible.

Good bye. Thanks.

Negative Inertia

It's way easier to not do anything. This must be how people fall off the grid, wind up with drug problems or become homeless due to laziness. I hate it. I could go up to my sumptuously appointed studio and paint but the required initiative seems beyond my indulged Netflix and oreo addled mind. My kids, also stuck at home in fear of plague, are likewise blob like creations. Laurie at least can work from home giving her life some structure. This is going to be a long lockdown.