Post covid, I have had vivid dreams. Very colorful and involving dreams.Three nights ago I had one that really stuck with me. I dreamt I was allowed to go back in time, to the early days of Laurie and my romance, with all my knowledge of what was to come in our lives. It was Christmas and after knocking on the door and coming into her apartment and seeing her ethereal and stirringly sensual beauty as a young woman, I was absolutely head over heels in love. It became quickly apparent however she was dumping me. Maybe she too had the knowledge of the last 39 years. I had taken her for granted, I was a terrible lover and partner. Some generic white guy with a pick-up and Carthart jacket had taken my place. No discussion took place, this was a fact. It felt like my heart had been kicked out of my chest and stepped on. As I left and walked to my car (which was now a grey, inexplicably, a 1954 Dodge) and started to drive away, I could feel my past disappearing, Ned and Tom never born, all the wonderful moments of my existence drying up and blowing away. It physically hurt. By the time I was a block away, nearing the Montlake bridge it was gone. It was awful. I may have cried in my sleep. I know what is precious, and what is important in my life, and she is the biggest part of it. I know the past can only be erased in "Dr. Who " episodes.
